Only By Losing Your Heart Will You Ever Find It

Only By Losing Your Heart Will You Ever Find It

Sounds a little strange, doesn’t it?

How on earth can you lose your heart and find it at the same time?





Please come along with me and I will show you how I discovered this amazing truth.


First, let’s explore what it means to lose our heart.

When I was in my “late fifties,” I suddenly realized that I was going to die without ever knowing what love is.  Actually, I was very surprised

to realize that I had never truly loved anyone. I began to see quite clearly that I had never given my heart to a woman.

I always played it safe.

My unconscious strategy was to find a woman who was attracted to me so that I didn’t have to chase her and risk getting hurt. If I saw that I was losing the upper hand in the relationship, I would back off and avoid seeing her again.

It was a penetrating discovery to realize that I had done this all my life.

I confess that I did not love the women who had become my wives. I married them because they needed me, not because I loved them. I didn’t realize that one day I would have to face the awful truth.

Discover The Awful Truth

I came face to face with the awful truth. I simply had no idea what love was.  But I finally realized if I was ever going to find out, I had to give myself totally to what I was attracted to. Little did I know that the real experience of love was not simply being pierced by Cupid’s arrow but seriously burned by a flaming sword that set my heart on fire.

I made up my mind that I was going to deliberately give my heart to the first woman that I was attracted to. I knew I had to reveal my feelings and be very straight with her. I really wanted to know what love was.

I soon met a woman who took my heart right away. I did not hold back. I did not protect myself. I let it happen. I confess that I was scared. It was like falling off a cliff with little hope of surviving. But I was determined to confront love head on, embrace it, struggle with it, and be destroyed by it if that was what it took to open my heart. After I did this, I had no control. She was in charge of the relationship.

I was in love with her. But she did not make it easy for me. She seemed to enjoy all the attention, dancing and playing with my feelings. I was certainly ”dancing to her tune.” It was excruciating. Now I realized how all those other women felt that I had “danced” with. I felt what they must have felt. It was a very humbling experience. This lover was “paying me back” for all the loveless acts I had inflicted upon my previous lovers.

I felt raw. My heart was breaking. The pain was almost unbearable. I had certainly lost my heart to a lover who did not return my love. I felt like such a fool, helpless, and unable to walk away from something that was really tearing me apart.

Fortunately, I had a wonderful vision where a woman flew into my heart like a bird and came to rest there. I described this as, “Oh, the woman has come home!” This taught me that the woman was awake in my heart. I was shown that the heart of a man is a woman and the heart of a woman is a man. I had found the love I was looking for. It was inside me all those years, but self-love had not awakened until I surrendered my heart to her.

I realize all of this may sound a bit strange, but the truth is if we surrender our hearts to love, love will awaken.

What is it like to find your heart?

If you truly lose your heart to another person, you can’t call the shots. You have no choice but to love them. But by loving them, you will gain great strength.  Even if you lose the lover, you will gain self-love. If your surrender has been true, you will become stronger. Self-love has to be awakened.

If you want to bypass years of seeking, struggle, and searching for love, you have to truly embrace the journey. Pursue love, be willing to be hurt or transformed by it. Real love is truly a great fire. Once it is awakened in your heart, you will be a true lover. Once love has been awakened in your heart, you will have no need to go looking for it elsewhere! In a sense, you must be willing to die to your old self and put an end to the endless seeking of love from another. Truly, it is not out there, but within yourself.

It’s okay to be afraid of being burned. Accept the fact that love is a fire. It does not tolerate “playing it safe.” Once you accept this journey of discovering self-love, do not turn back. Then you will certainly come to know that love is everything.

      When you find your heart:

Self-love will awaken
You will feel a lot stronger
You take more chances because you are less afraid
You will not cling to a relationship that is not working
It will be easier for you to recognize your true mate

Remember:  Only by losing your heart, will you ever find it.


Bio: Randall Curtis is a professional astrologer whose expertise is in relationships. He teaches at the Skysage Astrology Institute His simple, but powerful little book on relationships, is “How Do I Find True Love?” which can be found at

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